Sex and Cancer by Saketh R. Guntapalli & Maryann Karinch

Author:Saketh R. Guntapalli & Maryann Karinch [Guntupalli, Saketh R. & Karinch, Maryann]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Rowman & Littlefield Publishers
Published: 2017-04-14T04:00:00+00:00

Enjoying the “New Normal”

Before delving into the specifics of how Allis and Craig restored their love life, it’s important to note how Allis and other cancer survivors felt that the people around them made practical contributions to their ultimate health and well-being. Those we interviewed emphasized the roles of many different people from many different circles.

I feel great. I did Jodi’s walk this year. [Jodi’s Race for Awareness is a 5K and one-mile run/walk in Denver, Colorado.] I walked with a Stage III B two-year cancer survivor. It’s amazing the people I met there—and the stories. Everyone has a story . . . and we are not willing to give up. We thank our doctors, and we thank our God.

We went back to the church we used to attend when we lived in our other home and the pastor saw us and acknowledged me in front of the whole congregation with: “How many of you have ever seen a walking miracle? We have one in our church today. Someone we have said many prayers for, day after day.”

At this point in the interview, which took place in Allis’s home, Maryann happened to mention that her own experience of healing began days before her surgery and subsequent chemo and radiation with a Mass that included very close friends. She added that one of those friends then presented her with a prayer shawl, knitted by women from the church who “infused the shawl with prayer and love.” Before she could even finish her sentence, Allis jumped up and down and then grabbed Maryann’s hand, racing with her into an adjoining room: draped on a chair was Allis’s prayer shawl.

For nonbelievers or believers, the point of this is something Allis summarized as follows: “When it really matters, people are so generous in giving whatever tangible and intangible gifts they have to offer to help you.”

Craig gave both kinds of gifts daily. The two of them never lost hope that they would find a way to restore their love life. But the journey was not without a few surprises.

We gave it about six months before we tried having sex. Part of the reason for waiting was to be sure I was healed and part of it was that I was uncomfortable with my body. I didn’t want him to see my bags.

I was always a thong wearer before. I had a cute little body to go into my cute little underwear. Now he would see my granny pants.

The “granny pants” that Allis refers to are relatively high-waist underwear that has built-in pockets to support the pouches. They probably wouldn’t differ dramatically from underwear that a lot of women wear, unless like Allis, they had a drawer full of sexy, lacy panties.

But having sex means the panties, whether they are pretty or ugly, have to get out of the way. Allis bought an ostomy belt, which both protects the bags and hides them. For anyone facing this challenge, we found that simply putting the term

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